croscasino.blogg.se - Fierce conversations principles

Some are continuously in legal or financial hardship. In retrospect, I have seen the model above play out in a range of executives I have worked with. It is only through an unwavering focus on a positive future state, however, that we can clean behind the curtain. It is easy to define what is wrong with a situation, and a bit of self-awareness can help understand how you got here. This premise aligns with the concept of communicating vision, of taking others and yourself from here to there. It is ironic then that most people have a great deal of clarity about what it is they do not want. Scott notes that “You will bring into your life whatever it is you have the most clarity about”. So we acknowledge the curtain, and we see ourselves in the situation, but cleaning up can only occur if we know where we are going. They are almost always about me.” We need to be aware of how often we find ourselves looking back at us from behind curtains we see in others.

As Scott notes, “All conversations are with myself, and sometimes they involve other people.” and “The issues in my life are rarely about you. The “fierce conversation” starts with the individual. Scott highlights this principle stating that “our lives are mirrors accurately reflecting us back to ourselves”. Our criticism of others can be amplified as projections of what we find unsatisfactory in ourselves. When seeing issues in other people or organisations, it is important to understand that what annoys us most are generally issues we see clearly in ourselves. “The truth will set you free, but first it must irritate you.” This choice is necessary yet confronting and uncomfortable. As Scott notes, “authenticity is not something you have it is something you choose”. Closing the gap, however, must be intentional. Getting to a place where there is misalignment in identities can be a gradual and unconscious process. Susan Scott speaks to this with her second principle of Fierce Conversations of coming out from behind yourself to ensure there is integrity and authenticity in personal lives and in organisations.

While there will always be a “back of house” that is not presented to the public, there should be minimal shock when you discover what is behind the curtain. Instead of leaving the situation or ignoring or accommodating these gaps, a third option is to directly address the disparity.

Individuals who create personal brands through social media that do not reflect who they really are.

Executives who espouse company values that are not aligned with their personal actions.

Organisations that state a primary mission as treating others as themselves, while creating a culture of blame.

This conflict is seen in examples such as: Conflict occurs when there is too great a gap between these identities. These different “identities” include what is actual, what is communicated, what is conceived, what is ideal, and what is desired. They then become part of the machine holding the curtain in place.Īt both the organisational and the personal level, there is always a concept of what is considered public and what is behind the scenes. Another option for the audience is that they can pretend they didn’t see behind the curtain and convince themselves and others that there is no curtain. The audience can be offended at being taken in by the illusion and choose to walk away. These curtains occasionally slip open, however, and present the audience with a choice. Whispered conversations are held behind closed doors. Dark corners provide havens for unethical transactions and hidden secrets. Broken furniture spills into pathways to trip those who do not know their way around. Behind the curtain, dirt and grime coat the walls and rub off on those who get too close. The curtain is a metaphor for hidden things not fit for public consumption. “Pay no attention to what is behind the curtain.” Such can be said about many people and organisations.